walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
