I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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