But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
