So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
