wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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