Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
