So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
