I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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