my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
