i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
