He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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