Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
