I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
