Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The best revenge is premature balding
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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