It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
