He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
