I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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