ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
