I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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