I smell stomach acid.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
