sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
