Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
