Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
