I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
