"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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