have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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