We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
