Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
