Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
