eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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