Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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