Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
