I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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