i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
