According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
