my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
