so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
