sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
