Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
