you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
