There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
