I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
