I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
