On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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