Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
