They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
