As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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