It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
