took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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