I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Randomize
