when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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