As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
