you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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