Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
