There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
His nipple licking is glorious
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